Vodka Shots on Thanksgiving

How do you know when you hate yourself and your family? How about when you sit all alone Thanksgiving night with a bottle of vodka, two cans of chilled Red Bull, and a glass you got from your parents kitchen downstairs? Let's not forget sitting in front of the computer trying to figure out how to get Laws of Attraction to play, then wondering why the fuck a disheveled Pierce Brosnan would be attracted to a red head. Of course, then you have to wonder why anyone would be attracted to a red head. They're gross - why, you ask? Well, they have red hair... EVERYWHERE. I don't know if you noticed, but just about every guy skips the fucking red head pages in Playboy cause that nasty red pubic hair with pale white skin is a combination that only a drunk Irishman could love - go figure.

So the movie sucked, I was drunk and confused, the Red Bull lasted for about 20 minutes, and I had nothing else to mix. What did I do? I took shots out of a drinking glass. Happy fucking Thanksgiving! I'm pretty sure this is what the pilgrims did right after they slaughtered some Indians... sat alone drinking while watching hairy men fuck red heads. Either that or they raped and pillaged some teepees, who knows?

Double fisting the stuffed turkey - that's how you clebebrate Thanksgiving! Bring on Christmas! Maybe I'll go get a bottle of rum this time.